why do you keep me in darkness and solitary confinement when i jus want a chance so show you what i can do. why do you define whatever i do as WRONG. id do anything for you to jus look at me. why wont you. im your daughter. or maybe you'd rather not have me as yours. all my life i never go things my way. i never got things i want. all i got was mocks from you and you alone. your mocking voice haunts me til today. do you need a miracle to look at me. i know im no angel nor miracle. im not invisible either. my whole life. you treated me like i never exsisted. id rather be anywher but here. though im invisible at school too, at least i have friends that thrust in what i can do and dont claim that whatever i do is WRONG. everywhere i go the loneliness seem to follow me. i cant do anythign about it. you crush everything ive ever dreamed of. but my faith is still with me till today when u took it. im sick of takingleaps of faith thinking you'd come and pick me up when i fall with a smile. you just come to me with the loudest and most hurtful mocking voice. is doing things i love WRONG. why do you let a bunch of idiotic guys stand in the way of your daughter's happiness. all i want is to play basket ball. and just because some guys go there too, i cant go. who wrote that rule must think im real stupid. is it because im a girl. maybe i dont want to be a girl anymore if i had to suffer every minute and second of everyday of my life til i lie dead under the earth. if this is what being a girl is like, i dont want to be a girl anymore. i'd rather be invisible. unseen by mocking voices around me that haunt me. uncried tears over flow. i kept so many tears. i just need a friend's shoulder to cry on. oh yea. none of my friends know exactly and perfectly whats going at home when i get into the golden avanza. cause i never told anyone. though i played basket ball today. i dont feel the same happiness i usually get out of basket ball.somehow. something was missing. maybe someone. i dont know. i feel weird today tahts all. if you dont see me tomorrow you'll know that im already dead. i never wanted to live. i really need to find a best friend that last for a life time. most of my friends just make me feel more out of the crowd. i want to fit in.....